Someone remind me why lite and regular tampons even exist. It seems puzzling.

adulthood is a tricky thing.  it’s what you crave most when you’re like ages 13-19 and BAM you’re 20, feeling old as fuck, dealing with new responsibilities a la rent money and gas money and “summer plans”, graduation is nearer on the horizon (if you chose that path (i didn’t)), and panic starts to set in.  i am 23 and still am not an adult though.  i have been mentally compiling a list stating the reasons that i am not yet an adult and i wanted to take a few minutes to put them down on paper, figuratively speaking.

You are a (responsible) adult for sure when:

• you realize that you need to just buy the 24 pack of toilet paper. it seems like so much money, but it isn’t and you also won’t have to go buy toilet paper for a long time.
• you don’t pick up dirty socks off the floor every time you need to wear socks
• you car is no longer a god damn trash heap.  and if it is, it’s only because of your kids.
• “staying in” is not something you secretly brag about— it’s a normalcy, not an aberration
• you don’t decide to go out to dinner instead of pay your power bill
• work is not something you complain about day in and day out (even if you don’t like it)
• you don’t allow yourself to get down to 0 pairs of clean underwear
• adults start talking to you like a fellow adult (i’m allllmost there)
• you no longer say “when i grow up…”
• you got your birth control plan on lock
• at any given moment there are not 3+ spoiled food items in your fridge

i will add some more later as i think of them. 

I believe a day will come when I hardly remember what it was like to frantically search the floor for dirty socks to wear. I truly believe that! That’s when I’ll know I’ve made it!

“blow my mind & i’ll give you my body” says oshri, a friend at the bar we’ve known for 5 minutes, when describing her taste in men